When Life Feels Dark

As-salam alaikum my beautiful sis!

I hope this meets you in the best of iman and health in sha Allah.

It’s been a while since you saw my newsletters in your inbox.

To be honest, I’ve been feeling so out of it lately. I can’t explain it, but I think I’m just truly exhausted. So, in this letter, I’m taking off the “always have my life together” hat, and I’m placing it where it belongs - in the trash. The truth is that we can never always have our lives together. Part of being Muslim, actually just a general human experience, is living in uncertainty, getting comfortable with it, and embracing it wholeheartedly.

Uncertainty - I really don’t like this word. It just doesn’t leave a good feeling in me. What if, what if not, why, how, when? These are the questions that uncertainty brings, and when not contained, they spiral into anxiety and uneasiness for many of us.

Not knowing for sure is something I struggle to accept. I’m learning, as life goes on, that Dunya is filled with uncertainty - lots of it. The intricacies and complexities that come with Dunya? We would never be able to grasp the full picture of things.

You know, I was writing this newsletter yesterday, unsure of where it was headed, but just trusting that Allah would guide me. SubhanAllah, Allah is truly the Best of planners. He’s Al-Hadi, The One Who Guides. I was sat on my bed yesterday, and by the will of Allah, I began reflecting on a community event happening later today, in sha Allah. I looked back on my life, and it was like I could suddenly connect dots I’d never connected before. I could see things in a different light and it felt like Allah opened my eyes to see that this was His plan all along. It was a du’a that came to fruition in stages, not just in one go, and Allah knows best.

In 2022, I made a du’a that I thought got answered then. It did actually, but not in the way I thought. I thought what came into my life at the time was the answer to my du’a and that was it, nothing more. I thought it ended there, I was good. What I didn’t know was that it was only the beginning. That thing was the means to something bigger. Now, I realise, that my du’a kept getting answered. What do I mean? I mean that Allah gave me way more than I asked for.

I didn’t realise it until yesterday, but every single thing that happened led me to this very moment. To Tifah & Co., to this community event, every moment led to my du’a being answered in the most beautiful of ways. Sis, you may be wondering, what did I ask Allah for? I asked Allah for my tribe. When I asked Him, I wasn’t thinking anything big. Like, ya Allah, if it’s just two or three people, I’m good with it. Alhamdulillah Allah had other plans, and indeed, a tribe is what I got. Not only that, but that everyone along the way, taught me something that was meant to shape me and help me grow to be someone ready to receive this blessing. Alhamdulillah.

Honestly, Allah is so Subtle and Precise in His ways. Uncertainty leaves me feeling uneasy, but I feel like this was Allah’s way of reminding me that He’s got me, always, in sha Allah. Sis, He’s got you too, always, in sha Allah. Allah hears you, He sees you, He knows you. Let Allah handle it, His Light will always pave a way forward, in the most subtle and beautiful of ways.

A lesson from me? Don’t ask or play small. Do not limit yourself in your du’as. The dictionary definition of a tribe is “a group of people who are all doing the same thing or share a common culture”. In many ways, you, sis, are part of my tribe. We share similar goals, we have similar passions, and we’re all striving for the Akhirah. Alhamdulillah.

So, that’s where I’m at right now. A human who struggles just like you. A human who is now realising that Allah sees the full picture and we only see a quarter of a pixel, or even less. Your du’as do get answered. You just have to let go of the expectation of time, and how you want them to be answered. Lean into Allah’s Guidance and Wisdom, and let His Light lead you out of the darkness of this life.

What is one thing you struggle to accept sis? I’d love to hear from you in sha Allah.

With love,

Latifah.

Founder, Tifah & Co.